Blocked!!!

I have felt that I can not use this LJ for some time

• I have felt blocked from using it. Therefore for quite a while there were no entries in this LJ

Then I put the last entry below about value for money and this and discussions with other Researchers brought to head worries I have about using my Learning Journal in the way that I have.

The reasons I feel like this are:

• I found that my use of the blog/LJ was to offload, talk through my feelings, and in my case even in my case to 'rave'
• But even so as I usually operate personally in a very 'open' way and usually everyone sees everything about me warts and all at first I saw no problem with this so I just went ahead and put my frustrations on my Learning Journal
• but I now wonder if it is 'wise' to put my frustrations in a LJ that will be used as part of my assessment for this course?

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One of my issues with the LJ is that because of my using it to express my feelings of frustration I received one adverse response form someone who called themselves Anon so I have no idea who they where but it is my guess they had to be connected to UV or my words would not have engendered enough of an emotional response for them to comment as they did...

But th main issue that is blocking me from the use of this journal is a worry that having the sorts of comments I need to make to my LJ to keep myself sane while on this course, actually being part of my assessment for my work at UV might affect my marks adversely?

( so far we have been asked in our modules to record things in our LJ or refer to our LJ - I am not sure if the nature of what I need to write in my LJ would affect my assessment for a module if read in combination to a module -but I need to pass this at the very least so I fear it may)

Anyway therefore I have not been able to use my LJ for a while , I feel blocked from using it as the only use I have for it personally is to air my frustrations, work through my feelings and emotions, and generally offload and I wonder if I am free to do this in the LJ and it not affect my marks, but to survive this course I HAVE to do it somewhere.

So far for me my issues have been totally with the course itself, how it is organised, and the scarcity of any input from UV staff like LF for the money I am paying which I can not afford at all right now! None of my issues have been of a personal nature. Even my complaints about LF input are not intended to be personal - it is not about LF as individuals or the effort they put into their job which I am sure is extensive.

My issues are about the way their work is organised by UV - which they are not in control of personally I am sure?

However I suppose at some point I may have issues with other researchers or an individual member of staff and it would not be helpful either to air these publicly during the process of working out my issues as this could be hurtful to the other person even though it would never be intended to be - it would just be about how I reacted to something said by another researcher due to my own psyche and personal triggers.

I have discovered by talking to researchers in other Cohorts that I am not alone in this as others before me have had the same dilemmas regarding their Learning Journals.

Therefore I have decided to try a solution other researchers have before me, that is to effectively have two LJ

• one for my RAW feelings and issues
• the other for the outcomes of my working through these issues
  
  
  Lets see if this will work?
  
  
  

Is this course value for money?

What exactly am I paying for?

I have felt VERY frustrated since beginning the course and also at times that I have been 'ripped off'.

In that I am paying money I can not afford at the moment as I am off work due to an operation and as it has a long recovery period I am likely to be not working and on benefits for some time.
And ..

I have felt that I am not getting value for my money in that on this course there are no lectures, no personal tutorials or even group ones and so I expected a sort of mentoring relationship with someone i.e. my LF or to be allocated a separate work mentor – something to replace the input you would normally get on a degree course from teaching staff!!

I have had what I would call minimal input from my LF. When I have tried to speak to my LF about my feelings and concerns re this course on Skype, for instance, before I have even got started on two occasions my LF said they had to go to a meeting and rang off!!!!............. where is the in depth disscussions about my work I would expect to have with someone with a title of Learning Facilitator?????

Even the feedback on my first module – the module I sweated blood over – was not very helpful. I already know I am wordy and I have no interest in presenting my work in a different way – I have been there got the book, even written the book.....

What I want to do now is WRITE!!!

What would have been helpful to me in terms of feedback – and indeed I expected and did not get –

Would be an in depth discussion of the issues I explored, and further reading I could do on these, what in my module work was out of context or not relevant and could have been left out, i.e the personal stuff , when is personal experiences and attitude relevant or appropriate to include in an academic work and when not?. Is this a matter of wording - if we are to include personal experience should it be backed up and is so how? How my ideas fit in with any existing theoretical work, a look at where I could go from there in terms of academic threads to explore etc etc

I got NOTHING like this in my feedback

If the situation is that the existing LF do not have time to do this kind of individual, extensive and useful feedback then the UV should either:

1. Lower the fees to reflect the lack of UV input
2. Or employ at least 5 more LF to cover the work load

This situation is just not good enough for either researchers of Learning Facilitators

Surely the LF realise that the job they are able to do given the number of students they are allocated is inadequate –

Maybe they are and are taking action to bring this to the attention f their employees – if not they should be !!!

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Apart from a couple of Skype calls hastily cut off by my LF - I have hardly had any contact otherwise. When I have had email dialogue with both my own LF and other LF all I have received is short text like emails.

For someone like me who likes to converse in a very ‘non text’ way with all aspects discussed of an issues - I have found these short text type emails almost cryptic in nature. They leave me having to guess what the person really means, what was the purpose of what they said, what did they ‘really’ mean?? I just do not communicate like that!!!

Also when I ask questions in other areas the answers either do not happen or are rudimentary.

I do not need to be spoon fed and I can do the work required more than adequately. I also understand the concept of peer learning and collaboration well and understand that in the absence of any taught input and any tutorials or mentoring on this course all these are replaced by peer input and communication. And I can do this and can cope with a course that is run in this way.

However if I am not to get any taught input or instead of this extensive one to one work based mentoring or tutorial – then I do not want to pay for something I am not receiving!

I know that this course at the moment is cheaper than most other degree courses but it needs to be because online provision costs the provider at least half what educational provision cost to provide in a venue.

And the value for the money I am getting in terms of teaching/lecturing input is in my opinion - nil. As we are having to find out absolutely everything for ourselves using our own research, peer learning and collaboration with just a few hints from LF and module guidelines, and a few personal emails and Skype calls that have no substance.

I would be a lot happier on this course if we just had a booklist, a set of aims and objectives to fulfil for each piece of work, a few ‘lecture’ notes on each learning area and access to the First Class and Plone communities....

but no Learning Facilitators and no expectation that their would be any help from that direction

- and the fees cut in about in half because we are not getting the input from lecturing/teaching staff that would be expected on any other degree course.!!!

Then I would be perfectly happy with the course

Or the other way forward is more Learning Facilitators so everyone can get value for money
Or another tier of people employed to be personal learning mentors - I am happy to volunteer for this role if anyone would pay me, in fact I think the job of LF would be nice too!!!