To Anon - To Myself

Anonymous said...
"surely we are entitled to a holiday too and not to have this pressure during Easter?"stop whining... 'entitled'?? Do you want this education or not? It's not a freaking party, you have to earn it, loser.
1:06 PM

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If it had been made with a name to it I would be completely respectful of this persons opinion however harsh - but as the person did not have the honesty to admit to their comment as far as I am concerned this is MY Blog - so no holds bared!!!!!

There is no reason at all why I should have to defend myself from this comment -

But also why not? - this is my learning journal and Anon's not very nice comment has made me realize WHY this degree and my education is so very important to me and why therefore I get so upset if I do not get the help I need.

It is because my situation is the very opposite from the assumptions Anon made about me and my reasons for being so angry that the deadline was set for a time there was so little help available and when I need to spend time with my own family.........

I have some questions for Anon - I have to ask:

1.does ANON have a family? Does ANON have children who need their time over the school or college holidays??

2,If you do - are you the main care giver for your family or otherwise take a key or active part?????

3.Why did Anon feel he could be so totally RUDE to me?..............

(I'm sure Anon is a he and I am sure I know exactly who Anon is - I could be wrong?)

Yet despite his total rudeness Anon didn't not have the courage to say fucking ?? ????

A bit of a cop out the word freaking don't you think Anon ?? well I do!!

If you have to abuse -do it in your own name and have the courage to do it properly - I have suffered abuse from those better at it than you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do not say what I said lightly - this degree is VERY important to me and VERY important that if I am to do it I get the support and feedback I need from the LF and support from the college when I ask for it within reason.

Education has always been very precious to me and something that for me was hard won so I know very well you have to EARN it

I would ask did Anon look at my work in Plone? - if they had they woulrealizese how much effort I have put into this over the last month?

And while there is no reason why I should defend my self against these totally wrong assumptions but I am going to tell my story anyway

-So Anon - I will tell you why you are just so wrong whether you are interested or not.

- I have had to fight tooth and nail for every bit of education I now have had and to get to the point where I am now a qualified teacher and lecturer with an HND in multimedia and web design - all of which I am VERY proud of and justifiably so given my background.

As a child I was considered to be educationally 'sub normal' as it was called then and was in the ‘special’ class for all but art and funny enough human biology which I was good at! ( a teacher once even called me a ‘cretin’ and also my brother who has similar problems but now has a PHD as he also strived hard to overcome his similar difficulties, I have not yet got to this point ( a PHD) but I hope to one day be called a doctor too)

So at school due to very bad dyslexia and worse dyscalculia, my schooling failed me completely as I was considered un- teachable, From age 12 to when I left at 15 most teachers refused to mark my work as they considered my bad handwriting and mistakes to be in part deliberate and due to naughtiness as well as my being Ã?‘stupedÃ?’ as well

I was often told I was ‘stupid’ at school – education was very different then than now and I could tell you many more true stories of my appalling schooling but maybe I will save all this for another time when I need to offload it- or maybe I wont bother as no one ever listens anyway.

I left school at just 15 around 1968 with no prospects at all beyond the assumption that I would soon have children and my education did not matter to a working class 'daft' woman like me. I also had other personal problems due to being abused for several years as a child

Having left school as a victim of a 50s and 60s divisive secondary school education that could not cope or understand dyslexia and less so dyscalculia at just 15 with no qualifications at all - I then worked full time often in very hard menial jobs in factories and one of my first jobs was as an ancillary in an old style mental hospital wiping poor geriatric and psychotic patients bums.

I could tell you some more stories of the abuse of the patents, - the horendous bedsores, the riddicule, the lack of dignity, the abuse - I saw there as a very young women and the horrors – it was a very different NHS then too!! But again this may be for another time..........and maybe another place???????????????? maybe never....................................

Life was hard and at 17 I had a breakdown and was sectioned in the same hospital I worked in –

this was a horrendous experience and the drug treatment I was given appalling, in addition it took me years to get away from the stigma of mental illness. I was only in the hospital for about 3 months and have never been admitted to a mainstream psychiatric hospital ever again – and I am now 53 and totally sane despite all so this will not happen now – but this experience has followed me for many different reasons for most of my adult life – it changed me I would never be the same ...

Anon - have you ANY idea what I am talking about?

I then worked in manual jobs ranging from factory work and for two of those years as a dust person starting at 4am in the morning – and by the way I am a very small woman, not physically suited to this work but I just could not bare to work inside on factories etc anymore and I had no qualifications for anything else and with my history this was all I could get.

But the good part of my life at the time was that in my little spare time since I was discharged from hospital I had worked voluntary with other disadvantaged young people – my reasons were that I wanted to try to help other young people with difficulties not to suffer the discrimination and lack of opportunity I had.

I then started to educate myself at Kingston Further ED college at night classes after work (having got up at 4am and I also had a weekend job as an usherette in a cinema. I was by then 25 and pretty exausted most of the time ...........

I did at the further ed college what were then called o’levels and then went for a special entry examination at London University to get into teachers training at what is now called Roehampton institute and no one was more surprised than me when I got in!! around 1976

However I was not ‘allowed’ to do the teaching degree because I had no proven education Ã?– only o’levels and no As and a very bad school record.
Which is why having done 3 years teacher training I was not given the option to do an extra year and turn it into a degree.

So this explains why nearly 30 years later I am here still trying to get that degree!!!!

But now I am not doing it only for me but for the women I support though www.pni.org.uk

But at that time I was not that concerned about not being able to do the degree. I wanted only to get out there and do the work – it was my aim to teach disadvantaged and children with learning difficulties like I had been and do my best to help them get out of the education trap.

This level of academic work was not easy for me as there were no computers then (which in later years have been my lifesaver academically) and I still could not write without lots of mistakes and in those says 4000 word essays had to be written by hand – I had to fight to stay and work twice as hard as anyone else and in the first year before I really got the hang of academic work the college threatened to ask me to leave as they did not think I was educationally up to it.............
But I worked hard and turned it around and the rest as they say is history.

I did a youth work option while at teachers training too and having left with no degree but with a qualification ( Cert ED) in secondary schooling and the equivalent of a diploma in youth work with distinction so I taught for a while but eventually went into youth work professionally and worked from the late 70s until 1999 as a youth worker with young people with personal and social problems some with mental health issues – most of my work was small therapeutic group work .

If you read my work for the module you will read about what I do now

So you tell me again Anon I’m a loser and I do not EARN everything I have ever done!!!!

On your Bike!!